The Exit

It is official! I, Curly Kate Mcgee, have finally joined unemployment! How could I find this great or even humorous you ask? It was a long road but here are the final hours:
My employer posted my position on LinkedIn, a website that I monitor for them btw, on a Tuesday. Later that day I notice that it is posted and send out an email to Joe, April and Mr. O. asking why my position has been posted on the internet when I haven’t even received a warning for anything, ever. Nothing…
Then Wednesday I was scheduled to be out of the office and received correspondents that a meeting will be scheduled to discuss my position, and I am being given a hard time about asking to have HR present. Can’t you always have HR present if requested? So I said I would not attend a meeting unless HR was present.
Finally 3pm rolls around the Thursday I get back, there is a 3pm meeting scheduled and all requests have been removed from my desk. Here we go, wonder what April has up her sleeves today? Long story short I negotiated being laid off for ‘irreconcilable differences’. What the hell is that? I have no idea, but Hel-LO unemployment! You know when you get let go or quit you feel relief, or sad, but don’t want to really show it? I think I was Beaming, I might have been skipping and doing cartwheels!
Later that week I was re-hired (not by choice), then fired, and then re-offered my severance. I cannot even tell you how hysterical that day was, I don’t think I have ever been essentially fired twice in one day, in my life. On to better things…
Readers, please refer to my previous articles referring to my exemplary REAL resume. I have all the skills it takes to be high/over-employed, and this time no one is going to get me that easy! I will no longer settle for underemployment, shit pay, or hours working for a company that no one has ever heard of!
I am not sure at this point, is it better to say that I was employed for a company that was run by Satan and no one has ever heard of, or is it better to say I have been working on my education for the last year? Is it better to have a blank or to give a reason? And how do I not sound ecstatic at job interviews that I am not in crazy land anymore?
What a relief, I will keep scheduling vacations everywhere so I don’t I can enjoy my life for a bit! Yay me!!!!