The rapids

light happy bubbling river...

Rapid - "Avoid conflict at any cost and don't address the issues" Mr. O's policy, particularly he loves to be passive aggressive.

Moving river...

Rapid - High turnover in your position - "Widespread meanness not only damages people; it also undermines performance by driving out good employees at alarming rates... people respond to demeaning and disrespectful bosses and co-workers by calling in sick more often, making fewer suggestions, working less hard and doing lower quality work" Good Boss, Bad Boss by Robert Sutton.

A little bit faster now...

Rapid - Yelling in the office (April and Joe in every meeting because they can't communicate without pissing the other off). Mr. O in particular, Not just yelling in the office but yelling from your desk that you have accepted a meeting for Friday, but then asking what time it is because you don't know how to check your outlook calender - “there isn’t any room in business for yelling. It is bad behavior, and has the wrong impact.” Corner Office: Bob Brennan, nytimes.com.

 moving, moving moving...

Rapid - "the regular flex hours are 8:00-8:30 am - 5:00-5:30pm." -April Um, those aren't flex hours those are traditional hours... I think we need a definition here... (From Wikipedia) Flextime or flex hours is a variable work schedule, in contrast to traditional work arrangements requiring employees to work a standard 9am to 5pm day. Its invention is usually credited to William Henning.Under flextime, there is typically a core period (of approximately 50% of total working time/working day) of the day when employees are expected to be at work (for example, between 11 am and 3pm), while the rest of the working day is "flexitime", in which employees can choose when they work, subject to achieving total daily, weekly or monthly hours in the region of what the employer expects, and subject to the necessary work being done. A flextime policy allows staff to determine when they will work. For example, they may opt to work four 10-hour days per week, taking Monday or Friday off. Another flextime schedule is to work nine-hour days Monday through Thursday, an eight-hour day on Friday, taking every other Friday off. Workers may arrange to coordinate their days off so that their responsibilities are adequately covered. - So what does April think Flextime is?

Just keep swimming, just keep swimming...

“if you fall out of the boat don’t fight the rapids…” Good Boss, Bad Boss by Robert Sutton.

Word Bobby, Word.

The talk

Oh the dreaded phrase "let's talk" or an impromptu meeting about something with no further subject line of information.

In real life, when you hear this from a parent, sibling, significant other or husband you want to roll your eyes on the spot. What I hear is "I have something to tell You that is going to annoy you, make you feel bad or give you more work" in work-life it is not much different.

I am attempting to not roll my eyes when I hear this in the office because I have no money in the bank right now and no job offers from anyone else on the table. It is Friday for goodness sake can't you give me an explanation or just tell me now? Is a stupid drawn out conversation where no one will agree really necessary? Have you lost interest in solitary on your computer already this morning?!

"So what is it concerning?" a person might reply with eyes shifting to something in the room other than the person asking, a failed attempt at looking super busy an multitasking. "We will discuss it with Christian at 1pm." is the reply from Mr. O, Christian is a co-worker of mine that is constantly telling me how much he thinks Mr. O is a idiot. That is a relief.

The last time Christian, Mr. O and I sat down it was a huge waste of two hours with Mr. O leaving and disregarding everything that was said. Pointless to have a meeting if you don't care what anyone in the meeting has to say.

This will be interesting, I have a sarcastic hope that Mr. O will will micromanage and overstep and a real hope that Christian and Mr. O will get into an argument to the meeting will be mildly interesting. Too bad I can't bring my iPhone to this one. :)

The way to piss off your employee

1. The Passive-Aggressive Copy, or CC/BCC. The "cc and bcc-ing" behavior of my bosses leaves me feeling micromanaged and humiliated among co-workers. If you blind copy everyone and I hear about it I am going to hate you, boss or not.

2. Talk more than you listen. This is where an iphone or learning to blank stair comes in handy. I don't care about your name dropping or that you are ancient, I just want to get my job done and your idiot lecture means nothing to me.

3. Constantly underestimate the time it takes to get things done. Learn to do it yourself or consult with your employees, I am not your mom and you will look like an ass when you don't meet deadlines with clients because I won't be promising them unrealistic times, you will me. Oh and your bad so I am not staying late. 

4. Make promises to customers but have no idea on the elements involved in getting the task done. MR. O and April did you heat that!!!! You have no idea!!!!

5. Give employees low raises because the more you save, the higher your bonus. Psssssh We don't get raises here, we just have pointless reviews. 

6. Give advice on topics you are only partially educated in.  Again Mr. O and April! LISTEN!

7. Get mad at your employees for using their benefits.  Hey you offer them...(i.e. flex time April it is in my contract)

8. making them sign in and sign out when there is an expectation already to be there and they are not hourly.

9. Not knowing or trying to lean about equipment in the office that you use. I have no interest in babysitting.

10. Having unrealistic expectations that your employees can excel at a job made for 4 people, with no real direction provided as to the importance of their role or task. 

11. Offer no training, then complain that no one is trained.  This one just cracks me up :)

And lastly my favorite... Can you google this for me? No you stupid wench Google it yourself! You will get the same answer that I do and then won't look like an idiot. They even have a website for this ... Let me Google that for you. Or what I would like to use when asked the question... just fucking google it.

So bottom line...If you don’t treat your employees well, then there is no good product, if you don't have a good product you don’t serve your customer, no customer = no work and no money! Business 101. 

The sign in sheet

Oh how I love baby sitting my co-workers, and being baby sat for that matter.

Mr. O's new obsession is checking the sign in sheet and then watching you to see if you are really there the whole time you say you are. NOTE: the sign in sheet in mention was for "knowing where people are when they are out of the office by checking one place." This is not the case. This used to be an obsession of April's and I guess now Mr. O has taken over her duties, probably because he has nothing else better to do (when you can't use a computer your life becomes full of petty, irrelevant details because you can't check the time that we all enter in the computer).

Firstly, Mr. O is a creep and has been known to sit in the dark in the office to watch people coming in and then running up to the sign in sheet to check to the minute if it is the same as he thinks. Another fun game is when you forget to sign in and he puts whatever time he thinks you got in as your 'in' time. Or when you leave at 5pm and April or Mr. O runs up to the time sheet to make sure you have been there the full 8 hour day (this does not take into account when people work from home, on their way in, or over lunch). Tantrum to follow...like stomping feet tantrum.

This sign in sheet has a redundant amount of information on it, much more than any other place I have worked. Oh and did I mention that everything I do is in my shared Outlook calender (which Mr. O can not understand how to use). I get calls constantly about where I am even if I mention the meetings a hundred times and it is before I get into work AND IT IS ON MY CALENDER. The sign in sheet should be done away with it is just pissing myself and my co-workers off and if you can't trust your employees to come in and get their work done then get punch cards. Oh wait that would be stupid too because none of us are hourly!!!

eHow.com:
Sign-in sheets can be used to track volunteers, meeting attendees, patients at a doctor's office and clients at salons, schools and so forth. Sign-in sheets make it to record who is present, when they arrived and the reason for the visit. Sign-in sheets also are a record; they can be preserved in a binder for future reference.

Hmmmm... so nothing about baby sitting and employees... strange.

This sign in sheet is going to drive me nuts! I will have to pay attention to all weather advisory or fire alarms because if I don't sign out, there could be a tantrum!

The iphone episode

There are so many great things I have learned to do to zone out at work. They mainly include my iphone. I sit in meetings and play scrabble, or solitaire. I had a city on my phone at one point, where I could manage building and spending. I check the gossip sites and my bank accounts, and pay my bills. I text my co-workers who are also staring at their phones. I do homework and check e-mails. I don't think I could live without my iphone at work now!!!

It is phenomenal what people can still hear when they check out and into their iphones :).

-If your boss is a rambler, pretend to be taking notes on your iphone, you can direct questions back at them when they finally get to the point.

-If your boss just likes to have pointless meetings, pretend to be checking your calender.

-If your boss is just an ass, ignore them completely then hit them with the phone and plead insanity (hey it worked for Naomi Campbell, j/k but thinking about it might help)

Enjoy your iphones, blackberries and any other entertainment to get you through the day :)

The football game

I know this is shocking to some of you (if you know me) but read on.

Da Bears, Stupid Lovie and stupid Cutler...
Lovie stands there like an idiot and Cutler whines about injuries...and no body notices that a third string quarterback can do a better job in a game then the first 2, talk about a lack of noticing skill sets.

This morning I was speaking with my co-workers and realized why watching the Bears games bothers me so much. I get anxious watching them. Lovie looks like he is either constipated or about to drop a load the whole time quite a lot like Mr. O, God I miss Ditka. Then you have Jay 'Ow my knee hurts' Cutler, and instead of pushing on to possibly take his team to the Superbowl he just whines about his knee. Cutler is April. Joe would also play Cutler at times in this office. And the whole lack of knowledge of skill sets would be the Management team in general.

UGH! How annoying can a Sunday be when you see it all played out again Monday!

We had our weekly meeting today, and I didn't bring in my phone, which for once helped. The idiot Mr. O, decided to book a meeting for our office to learn our new machines, during another meeting. He didn't bother to look at any one else's schedules or send out an e-mail to even let anyone know about the meeting. This is partly because he can not use a computer, e-mail, or figure out how to check a schedule.

I brought up that we have another meeting booked at that time, and after hearing about it he decides that it is not important for some of us to learn how to use the machines. Really?! He has no interest in leaning anything and decides that it is not important for us now too! GRRRRR... I kindly mention that I think it is important for the office to attend both meetings as they are both essential to education of the office, and that everyone should know how to work machines in our office in case someone is out or someone forgets how to, or on the off chance that I might need to use it or to help anyone in a crunch. I wanted to tell him that he is an ass and should learn a lot more than just how to work machines in the office, I digress. Everyone else agrees with me, touchdown for the third string quarterback. 

It is also mentioned that we will soon be detrimentally short staffed, which will affect us negatively pissing off clients when work is not done. AKA Cutler is whining on the bench! Mr. O decides this is not important, Freaking Lovie, get a clue!!!!

Touchdown third string quarterback!!!!!

This is such a lost cause at this point because it is Monday and only the beginning of the week and the end of the game, we still lost.

The resume

I have been working since before I could drive. I don't mean just baby-sitting I mean real working. I have worked as an instructor, bartender, server, assistant, facilities, customer service, retail & other customer/ assisting jobs. I can say I have done everything crappy. BUT I have had jobs I loved. I loved being an instructor to children, I loved bar-tending, I loved some of my customer service jobs. I need a sense of ownership with my job, a project or a task that is mine.

You spend 70 of the 168 hours in a week working, getting ready for work, getting to work, or thinking about work after work, sometimes more. If you spend 64 hours sleeping you are left with 34 hours for eating and personal time. A person literally is what they do, and this is not new, last names came from a persons career at one point.

Note to all Managers: For the most part if you provide your employees with a sense of ownership you can expect they will try harder to do a better job. Don't hover, let them fail and learn in the beginning of their jobs, they won't do it again. DON'T Micro manage! Trust your employees or don't hire them. This is not just my opinion through experience but something that I have been taught in college as well as in articles I have read. Bob Brennan, president and CEO of Iron Mountain was interviewed in a piece in the Tribune about leadership. "I ask this question a lot in different situations: What do you recommend we do? You can get a real sense of who's invested in moving the company forward, and who's watching the company go by... You can try to get out of the system (of defensiveness) so people focus on achieving, learning and bonding."

So to learning here is my new resume that I have taken from my crappy jobs:

Curly Kate McGee

Somewhere in Chicago-land, IL - curlykatemcgee@gmail.com

Objective:  To have a job where I am allowed to meet expectations and not be micro managed.  To be able to do my job without constant interruptions.  To be given ownership for my projects & actions.

Education: Life and Universities

The instructor:
I learned to keep up energy because children and adults need someone who wants to be followed to teach them. I was responsible for managing my own classes and bringing my students to a level where they can move to the next class successfully.

The bartender:
Dude, you can keep your quarter, and by the way you are an ass!
I loved this job! This was great and I had to deal with major asses (both as co-workers and customers), the ones who wanted you to jump up and down for them if you were busy or not. For the better part it was fun!

The customer service job (plural, in retail, front desk, offices, etc.):
These are split across the board for me, there was the time that I worked for a major Bitch, she wanted me to handle her kids calls, I told her no and she told me that she would write me up. I never went back. There was the time that I was told that I was responsible for financing and admin work, um... that only kind of works, until I was asked to do personal errands, that won't work for me.

I loved working at one of my jobs I was left to my self with an enormous amount of trust put in me. My favorite job! The best ones are good to remember because they give you standards!


Special Skills:
Telepathy, Ignoring, blank staring for hours, The internet specifically googling for others that are too retarded to do it themselves, playing on my phone when I pretend to be listening, BS (Oh yeah I can tell you exactly what you want, not in a lie but spun in a great way, to get what I want this makes me great in sales jobs), Honesty (I will show you with either my face or words exactly what I think about you), I can use a computer and most computer software when provided training if i don't know it.


I guess the point is, you live and you learn and you might stumble upon something you like one day. Until then I will build my 'resume' :)

The letter

Why would a company send more than they are asked to send?

Mr. O decides that it will take me an hour to do a project. He has no idea where anything is, and does not tell me who to send them to but wants to send them WAY more than what they are asking for. This is redundant, it is not required, and it will have to be changed during the process of the project. And he asked me to do this while treating me like an idiot for asking him questions as to figure out exactly what he wants. Ass.

I hope I get to work out some of this frustration tonight!

The dress

Today I was asked if I brought a dress for a lunch meeting. Specifically I was asked if I brought one I could change into. I find this humorous because I am wearing suit pants and a cashmere cardigan set (and it is -3 degrees out). The person who asked me is wearing a black and white patterned suit with an bright orange turtle neck sweater. If you look like you got dressed in the dark, I don't think it gives you any right to judge anyone else. Bitch!

The week without internet

It was actually more than a week, but when I said something about it it isn't important.

I find it humorous that a company in this day and time takes days to even figure out that they don't have internet. Even when it became a company wide issue, because Mr. O can't or doesn't use the internet, it really wasn't an urgent issue until the clients started calling pissed off. Ridiculous is far to small a word.

To make the situation more humorous, I was asked if I could use wireless by April. Really, April? What wireless, do you even know what that is??? Firstly, I we do not have wireless. When I asked her whose wireless she asked if I knew somewhere in the building that I could use it. WHAT!!!! I use a desk top computer!!!! How would I get wireless from someone else? She looked at me confused.

A week later... we have internet and it has come to April's attention that we have a website.

April: So who answers www.blahblahblah.com?

Me: What? That is our website, no one answers it but there are links where they can e-mail individuals on the site.

April: But who answers www.blahblahblah.com?

Me: I am not sure what you mean, that is a website not an e-mail address... But as to the links on the website, you would answer the one directed to you, Mr. O would answer the one directed to him and so on...

April: So why don't we have someone answering www.blahblahblah.com? Because we should.


I just gave up at that point. She doesn't know what the internet is, no helping that. Why didn't the sky explode this morning? UGH!

The drama queen

April is a Drama Queen. My position has been occupied by more people than there are years the firm has been open because of April. She is so female and dramatic that she needs to always be stirring the pot.

Today she called me to ask for a meeting. GREAT,  I think this can't be good, she hasn't spoken to me in weeks (which was kind of a good thing). I pulled Joe aside and asked him what this was about.

Joe: Well she doesn't like you. She thinks you should say goodbye when you leave and that you are using your sick and vacation time. She also doesn't think you get excited worked up enough when things need to be done.

Me: What? I get all my work done? When have I not?

Joe: Well she thinks you leave at 5pm when there is still more to do.

Me: that happened once and it was because I asked her if she needed help with anything at 2pm because she was freaking out. She asked me at 5pm to help her! I had to go to the doctor, I couldn't stay, she started screaming at me and stamping her feet!

Joe: I know I heard. Just talk to her, she has issues getting along with more than just you she has issues with many people here and clients, your position has a very high turnover.

Me: Joe, this kind of crap is what stops people from getting work done, it isn't necessary in the work place.


So, I had my meeting. She asked me why I don't say goodbye and why I don't get as worked up as she does about getting this done. After answering her and telling her she needs to respect my time outside of work because I always get my work done and have hundreds of overtime accumulated, and that I refuse to participate in office drama, she talked about the economy and politics for over an hour and a half. Really?!!! What a dramatic waste of time!!! After, she had me fill out a review form. That was 2.5 hours of a pointless meeting, and time I can not get back!

On the upside I worked out Monday after work and I got a cat :).

The sky exploding

I'd like to say that things have gotten better from here on, that I woke up today and there were heavy snow flakes in the blue sky. My way to work was awesome and I thought about all of the exciting events of my day! Bahahahahaha!

It started that way. I like a pattern. Wake up, put on some music, shower, do my hair & make-up, grab something that looks nice to wear. The less I like work, the less I like mornings, and I am a morning person! 
Now not so much, I drag myself out of bed, don't shower (you can tell if I like my job if I shower more often to go), throw on something that could be considered yoga pants with underwear lines, and stare at the sky from my kitchen. Recently I have been dragging myself, standing aimlessly in my kitchen hoping the sky will explode and I won't have to go to work. The sky exploding! Could you imagine! There is no way I could go in today if the sky just exploded!!! Then I check the clock, after avoiding all of the possible options for going to work I bundle up to a gray sky and go.

I walk to work now with the previous days replaying in my head, like post traumatic stress. I have nightmares about meetings, I actually had the one where you forgot to wear pants! I have never had that dream!!

-There was the time I was not allowed to have lunch (while everyone else on my project did), then I have dreams about what I could have said...
-The time I was told to work late, at 5pm, when I was done with my assignments and walking out the door to a doctor apointment...
-Or more recently when I was sick and April was calling me and having others call me to find documents that I have sent her numerous times...
-Or catching Mr. O playing solitaire on his computer, in the middle of the day, when we were under deadlines and he had asked me numerous times how it was going (granted that is literally all he can do, seriously, he can't even type)... 

I want to hide under my desk or unlearn English so April, Mr. O & Joe won't speak to me. FML...

If you hated your job what could make you like it more?

The begining

Imagine being unemployed. Wait, that isn't hard.
Wake up
Worry about money
Watch some morning shows while eating breakfast
Worry about the bills
Work out
Watch some afternoon tv while eating something like food
Wash
Worry about finding a job and maybe search a bit for one
Wipe out

hmmm... a lot of worry right? So why is it now that I feel like my brain is about to explode and I am getting Migraines the size of Texas? I think about my options to get out of work every morning, like being hit by a car, Religion (can't that save me?), insanity, disease?

OK so the beginning...

I started this job like most people, the economy sucked and I was unemployed like a ton of Americans (not that I even could say I liked my previous job). Not a surprise when it took me weeks, months to find a job. When you are unemployed for a week it is great! When you are unemployed for a month, better. Months, plural, not so much.

You stay up strange hours, reading things that those weirdos in dark movies read, watch shows like Nova. I don't really have a problem with Nova, I am just using this as an example because I began to search for more shows like it, searching for stimulation in the late hours of the night. I think I watched every episode of House and Law & Order twice you branch out.

You start to think crazy things like grad school, teaching yoga, internships, unpaid internships, scrapping it all and becoming a doctor or the guy that speaks for A&E. It is not very settling to be home by yourself so much, cats & dogs have weird behavior for a reason.

Eventually you get that response back from someone that job that you were hoping you would. Not a dream job per say, but one you are mildly interested in, and not from a recruiter. They call you back, you call them back...

Bam! you have a job and you start tomorrow!

It  should be a warning when the office warns you about your bosses off the bat. Mainly just one we will call April, How crazy she is, and to watch out for her... Oh and that she gets 'worked up' but to stay calm. They warn you about another Mr. O, who in truth creeped you out enough in your interview. And the third being Joe, who screamed at you within your first week for being an idiot yourself. Lovely...

Warning signs here:
-People who are scared to lose work that stay and just warn you, then keep their distance
-Co-workers joking about bets on how long you will last
-Jurassic Park soundtrack coming from April's office
-Mr. O in an interview that takes forever and has to come in that day to start the next
-Mr. O staring at you in the interview, staring, and staring
-Co-workers never eating lunch, just working at their desks
-Monday meeting where your exiting coworker looks annoyed and he is leaving in 2 days
-No one participating in anything
-Not getting a lunch break your first week
There is a lot more... more to come...